You Great Prat
by hellotheree
Summary: James had given up on Lily. Right?


Lily blinked in shock. How long had she been staring at him? She looked down at her watch and realized that she came out to the lake nearly half an hour ago, and had yet to finish the first paragraph of her Charms essay.

She tried to focus on her essay again, but instead continued staring at James Potter from behind her Charms book. Just as she was starting to fixate on James' dark, messy hair, said hair was suddenly invaded by a pair of hands.

Lily came out of her daydream and became aware of what was happening: James' girlfriend of the week, Alexandra Edgecombe, was snogging James senseless while running her perfectly manicured fingernails through his hair.

Lily pointedly looked away from the couple, feeling jealousy course through her.

_That could have been me._

For years, James Potter had chased after her, proclaiming his love every step of the way. She never gave him the attention he wanted, and always had a clever response to his date offers to throw back at him. She had done her best to ignore him for years, and now, when she finally would have said yes to a date with James, he had stopped asking. Lily had at last chased him off just when she least wanted to.

She weakly laughed at the irony of the situation, drawing odd looks from a passing group of second-year Hufflepuffs. Now, she was futilely pursuing James while he dated other people, instead of the other way around. She and James had become closer this year, as fellow Head students and eventual friends. But since she knew he didn't fancy her anymore, she said nothing to him about her feelings. She didn't want to ruin the friendship they shared.

Biting her lip, she threw herself back into her essay, but had only written a few sentences before she was disrupted. She heard shouting, and snapped her head up to look for the source of the noise.

"You did NOT just call me that!" Alexandra screamed, quickly jumping away from James.

For the first time in her life, Lily saw James flustered. What did that prat do now?

"Er, well... I... I'm really sorry..." James said nervously, running a hand through his hair. "It kind of just slipped out."

"Things like that don't just SLIP OUT, James. I can't believe you. Before we even started going out, you said you were over her!" she yelled.

"Alex, please, just listen..." he trailed off.

Alexandra waited a moment for him to continue, and he stood there silently with a pained expression on his face. She let out a humorless chuckle, and started walking away.

"We're over, James."

He looked dumbfounded, and stood there in continued silence as he watched his now ex-girlfriend walk to the castle without even looking back. With shoulders slumped in defeat, James made his way up to the castle, too.

_Well, that was strange_, Lily thought. She stopped herself. _His love life is none of my business. It could have been, but it's not._ She sighed as she tried to concentrate on her Charms essay once again. After a few minutes of getting nowhere, she resignedly gave up and stood up, gathering her books and scraps of parchments in her arms. She lazily followed in James and Alexandra's footsteps and walked up to the castle as well.

Lost in thought, Lily slipped into the Entrance Hall and started in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. Before she made it even halfway, she heard muffled voices and paused. Tentatively, Lily took a few steps forward, and realized the disembodied voices were coming from behind a large tapestry.

"... getting ridiculous. I mean, this has happened with the last three girls you've dated," said a voice that sounded remarkably like Remus Lupin.

"Four, Moony. The last four," added in a second voice. Lily placed this voice immediately: Sirius Black, the bane of her existence.

"Four, then," Remus amended. "When's this going to stop?"

"It'll stop when I find a girl who I won't call... her name... by mistake while snogging," a third voice said. That had to be James; Lily would recognize his voice anywhere.

_So that was what happened. Only, what did he call her?_

"I meant, when are you going to ask her out?" Remus questioned.

"I can't do that! We're friends now, and I can't mess that up. It's better than nothing," James protested.

"Have you ever thought that she might fancy you back?" Remus asked.

"She's always hated me, that doesn't just turn into fancying overnight," James answered sadly. "There's no way she could ever like me back."

_What is he talking about? Any girl in her right mind would fancy James! Not that I'd ever tell him that. Ever._

"You can't be sure of that unless you ask her," Remus countered.

"Yes, he can," Sirius sang in a mocking voice that was probably supposed to sound like James. "Why would the magnificently perfect Lily Evans ever fancy our dear Jamesie-poo?"

Lily let out a loud squeak, and belatedly understood what she had seen unfold next to the lake. Then, she clapped a hand to her mouth when she realized she had just alerted the three boys of her presence.

A head poked out between the wall and the tapestry.

"Oh, hey Lily!" Sirius greeted happily.

"LILY?" James screeched, pulling the tapestry over, revealing the small alcove the trio was talking in. When he saw Lily's widened eyes, he paled visibly.

_Oh, Merlin._

"Well, I think that's our cue to leave," Remus said to an oblivious Sirius, dragging him down the corridor.

"OH! She heard... Oh. That's not good. Wait, I want to see her hex Prongs!" Sirius said, getting quieter as he and Remus got further down the hallway.

"Shut up, you idiot!" Remus hissed as they disappeared from view.

The remaining pair turned to each other awkwardly.

"Er... How much of that did you hear?" James asked, staring at the ground.

Lily was amazed. Not just because the object of her fancy still liked her, but also because she had seen the characteristically poised James Potter nervous twice in a single day.

"A lot of it..." Lily replied slowly.

"I'm so sorry! I never meant for you to hear-"

"James-"

"I value our friendship too much-"

"It's fine-"

"I don't want to ruin everything now that we're finally-"

"James-"

"Just forget you heard anything, we can pretend-"

"JAMES POTTER. Please, just stop talking."

He looked positively terrified. "I'm so sorr-"

Exasperated, Lily Silencio-ed James.

"Merlin! Sorry about that, but just listen."

James nodded, fear written all over his face.

_His beautiful, perfect face... STOP IT, LILY. Get back to real life!_

After her brief pause, he looked even more scared.

"I never said anything about it for all of the same reasons you just mentioned, but I fancy you."

James suddenly looked even more pale than before, and he swayed on the spot.

Lily cast the counter-charm, and he started babbling.

"But... you... perfection... me... fancy?"

"I fancy you, you great prat!" Lily yelled.

James fainted.

* * *

Later, in the Hospital Wing, James Potter regained consciousness to see Lily and his fellow Marauders sitting around his bed.

"Good, you're up!" Lily exclaimed, ignoring the glares of the three boys sitting across James' bed. "Can you please tell them that I didn't hurt you? They think I that you're in here because I hexed you," she continued.

"Lily didn't hex me. She fancies me," James told the other boys.

He thought for a moment, processing what he had just said.

"OH MERLIN, LILY EVANS FANCIES ME!" James screamed. He promptly fainted again.

* * *

When James woke up the second time, during the dinner hour, he took the news much better than the first. Instead of passing out, he found her in the Great Hall and snogged her, simultaneously disgusting and shocking the entire school. James and Lily didn't mind.


End file.
